Many couples share one goal: stay together. That goal is possible more often when you plan for differences in health, not just today’s routine. Start with a clear snapshot of how each person functions right now. Who manages medications. Who handles bathing safely. Who drives. Who can respond if something happens at night.
Next, talk about the “if one changes first” scenario. Couples rarely plan for it, yet it drives outcomes. If one partner needs memory care or a higher level of hands on support, can the community support both partners on one campus. Can the stronger partner live nearby and still feel independent. Ask communities how they handle mixed needs couples and what moves look like if needs shift.
Bring a written list of priorities to tours. Many couples want privacy, a predictable routine, and easy access to meals and activities. Others want a quiet space and room for a caregiver to assist. Ask to see layouts that support mobility tools and reduce trip hazards. Walk from the bed to the bathroom as if it is 2 a.m. Ask what staff response looks like in the middle of the night.
Talk about money early, even if it feels uncomfortable. Ask what the base rate includes, what triggers care add ons, and how often they reassess. Ask how they communicate changes to families. Clear pricing prevents stress later.
If the conversation feels heavy, keep it simple. Ask one question: what do we want daily life to feel like six months from now. Then plan backward. A local advisor can guide the assessment, narrow options, and schedule tours that match your needs as a couple.
